Five Times Red Tornado Didn't Want To Know
by midnightluck
Summary: And One Time He Found Out Anyway. Red Tornado didn't volunteer to watch over six super-teens, but he got the job anyway. Five times Red Tornado walked in on the team doing something odd and didn't ask, and that one time he just couldn't help himself.


__All recognizable characters belong to their respective owners (Cartoon Network). For a prompt on YJ_Anon_Meme.__

* * *

><p>It takes him a while, but Red Tornado finally tracks the paint back to its source. It's been splattered all over the walls and corridors of the mountain, as if a whirlwind holding paint sets had blown through, which, now that he thinks about it, might be fairly accurate.<p>

He follows the trajectories and quantities, keeping a running chart in his head, and deduces that it's all heading for the living room.

He opens the door, and Wally is running back and forth, painting broad strokes of yellow everywhere, while M'gann gets the high corners with green, using her telekinesis to control seven brushes at the same time.

He takes in Superboy, covered in various colors and ignoring it all in favor of carefully spreading red into a single corner, and he has a can of blue that used to be next to him before Kaldur stole it. The team leader has a sponge, and is happily dabbling blue over the bottoms of the walls, creating a nice, ocean-like effect.

Everyone turns to look at him, which is the only reason he spots Artemis, hanging off a ladder held by Robin, about to dip her brush in Megan's green. Robin's got three cans of spray paint attached to his belt, and gives Red Tornado a speculative look.

He's not sure who initiated this random painting session, but at least they put plastic over the floor and furniture. It looks like it might even come together in some cohesive whole, and he has the slight inclination to ask, but right now, he's more concerned about getting out of sight and out of mind before any of the team decide to see how Red Tornado would look as Green Tornado, Black Tornado, or, heaven forbid, Rainbow Tornado.

* * *

><p>As an android, Red Tornado technically does not sleep. He goes through recharge cycles, though, because using his wind turbines really takes a lot out of him. Also, keeping track of six superteens is not the easiest thing in the world.<p>

Recharge cycles aren't too long, taking 4.2 hours, though he can stretch them out to proper 'sleep' length, if he wants to. Mostly, though, he just plugs in in a niche or corner, sets for fastest, and blanks out the world around him for a while. It's a wonderful break from his assigned duties.

So, when he's in the middle of his cycle, the very last thing he wants to hear is the _br-r-r-ring!_ of a bicycle bell.

He keeps his eyes firmly off, and does not move.

"Can't catch us!" Robin's voice taunts, and he and Kid Flash laugh obnoxiously loudly.

"A speedster-powered bike is not a motorcycle!" Artemis calls, voice echoing down the hall.

Wind buffets him, and he sighs and does turn on his eyes, just in time to have Artemis use him as a pillar, launching sideways and up. Superboy tears past, Megan flying just behind him, and one of the boy's arms clips Red Tornado's chestplate.

He tries to take a step back to counteract the momentum, but he's stuck in recharge and can't move. So he resigns himself, and topples over backwards into the wall.

He begins the procedure to come out of the cycle, then runs an algorithmic analysis, and decides it's not worth it; chances are, they'll be back by before he's done.

"Sorry about that," a softer, more welcome voice says, and Kaldur appears in his line-of-sight. "Here, let me just-" and he sets Red Tornado up straight.

"Thank you," Red Tornado says. For half a second, he debates asking what's going on, but then a blur of Kid Flash colors topped with Robin's laughter blows back past them, and Artemis lands on Red Tornado's shoulder to bounce off again, and Kaldur braces him as Superboy and Megan pass him again.

"Sorry," Kaldur says again, and takes off after them.

Red Tornado calculates the probability of them coming back down this hall, decides he doesn't care, and shuts off his eyes again. Maybe tomorrow he'll add some stabilizer cuffs to his feet...

* * *

><p>He was walking down a hall. That's all he was doing, was walking. An innocent little stroll to the computer bank to download some new information.<p>

So he really wasn't expecting to encounter resistance in the form of a handful of pillows upside his cranium.

He stops to better assess the situation. A mattress stands upright to his left, and two stacked longwise to his right, with red and blue flags, respectively. There seems to be no one in either, but that makes sense; in a battle where fortifications are available, seeking cover is the only reasonable choice.

Another pillow comes sailing towards him, and he takes a step back to avoid it. "_For the love of tables_!" yells Kid Flash, and a bombardment of small pillows rains down from the ceiling.

Red Tornado hurriedly turns around and starts back the way he came. As he sets to work finding an alternate route, he finds himself wishing they would confine their antics to the living room. He already knows better than to go in there anymore.

* * *

><p>"Uh, hi?" Megan says, and he stops in his tracks.<p>

"Hello," he responds, regarding her gravely.

He waits, but nothing else is forthcoming. The girl twitches and looks around, so he says, "If you'll excuse me," and continues on.

"Wait!" she cries before he can finish another step. "No, wait, really, I wanted to ask you about...about something, but I forgot! Silly me, so sorry, um..."

Suddenly, Wally is there as well, saying, "Yeah, she was gonna ask you for help on her biochemistry homework!"

Megan nods, very quickly. "Yes! Help on homework!"

Red Tornado accesses his memory bank, and says, "You are not taking Biochemistry this quarter."

Her face falls, and she says, "Oh, yeah."

He regards the two in front of him, and decides he doesn't want to know.

"Goodbye," he says, and attempts to move on.

"Uh, no, really, RT, you don't want to go in there," Wally says, back plastered to the door he was about to step through. "This hall is off limits today."

Apparently, this is why they tried to lie to him. He files that fact away, and then nods and turns around. Thumps come sounding through the walls, and someone yelling, "_No!_" very loudly. Something crashes. He looks over his shoulder, and Wally and Megan wince.

"It's just-" Wally starts, but Red Tornado just faces front and leaves before he can finish that sentence. He's never been sure how to act around teenagers, and doesn't want to get in the middle of anything.

* * *

><p>It's time for him to take inventory for his weekly report, so he dares to enter the kitchen again. He sticks his head in and looks around first, but sees no one, and thus deems it safe to enter.<p>

The hissing starts up when he's halfway through cataloging the pantry. At first, he attributes it to his armor letting out steam, or any of the numerous automatic maintenance tasks his suit performs throughout the day.

It resolves into loud whispering about the time he moves on to the freezer. He dials down his hearing and ignores it for as long as is feasible, and finishes the refrigerator to the sounds of "I told you Cat's Cradle was a bad idea!" and "No, _you_ shut up!"

It takes him 8.3 seconds to talk himself into looking over the back of the couch. Past data recommends against it, but his responsibilities as a live-in mentor means he has to make sure everything is fine.

So he does look over, and wishes he hadn't. Robin and Wally are...attached, for lack of a better word. There's a string looped around their wrists and fingers and the stem of Robin's sunglasses is caught, and somehow one of Wally's feet is in there, too.

The boys blink up at him, and he stares back.

"Hi," Wally says weakly.

He doesn't bother to speak, and instead just aboutfaces and leaves.

"No, wait!" he hears behind him. "Hey, at least give us some scissors! Please?"

* * *

><p>There are voices coming from the living room.<p>

He really, really shouldn't look in.

Odds are, it's something strange and scary, and he really should not even glance in.

He does anyway.

But only because he heard a voice he didn't recognize, and it could be an intruder. That's the reason he looked in.

Really.

Turns out it isn't an intruder. It's Wally, standing on the coffee table, face screwed up and voice dropped an octave, talking in stilted sentences about how he's Batman, and criminals are just a superstitious, cowardly lot.

Megan and Artemis applaud, and Robin cracks up. Kaldur is trying to get Superboy to try, because supposedly, voice-changing is one of Superman's superpowers.

Wally cackles in a way that does not match Red Tornado's voice print for Batman at _all_.

Everyone claps, and Wally bows. Robin and Kaldur manhandle Superboy onto the "stage", which he promptly crashes right through.

Since they obviously cannot do it right, Red Tornado thinks he may as well demonstrate. He accesses his voice modulator, sets it to "Batman", and says, "What's going on here?"

Everyone freezes, and Red Tornado most certainly is not amused.

Wally glances over his shoulder, fear morphing into shock giving way to laughter. "Oh, man, guys, RT's got us beat!"

Robin falls over, laughing his way onto Megan's lap, who's applauding along with Artemis. Wally wolf-whistles, Superboy cracks a smile, and Kaldur smiles and nods.

Red Tornado leans forward a few inches in what could almost be considered a bow, and then turns around and leaves, the sounds of cheering following him down the hall.


End file.
